Subject: King of Carson

You know, there's an old Latin proverb that says: there is often wisdom under a dirty cloak.
Well my friends, there's a lot more than wisdom under this guy's dirty cloak. After placing 23rd in this summer's Run Amuck competition, I'm convinced I'm truly invincible. That's right – Swanky Frankie runs alone. Not only did I overtake a few superheroes in the mud pit (nice tights, guys), I put the moves on a couple runaway brides and scared a team of 12-year-old girls into forfeiting.

So now, when I'm cruising the scene in Carson, I'm like the hottest ticket in town … the ladies can't get enough of me. Is it any wonder? I'm 5'7, 220 lbs., kinda look like Val Kilmer, only not so much. Yeah. Those Carson chicks dig it.

So I'll see Batman and Robin and Spidey and you crazy Wonder Twins next year….I'll be the guy in the leopard print speedo. And we'll see who's laughing now.

- Swanky Frankie, King of Carson>